...cUz...

...cUz...

Cuz just now i realized
Your importance in my life
Cuz though some don’t take it real
It does hurt like it, I feel
Cuz though some might think it’s fake
It stars to seem more like fate

Cuz I’m impatient and stupid
And couldn’t just let you be
Cuz I didn’t do what you asked
Now you broke up with me

Cuz I can’t yet admit it
And still hope you return
Cuz I can’t figure my head
Lost in confusing thoughts
Cuz I shouldn’t have, but though
I felt for you my love

Cuz I wanna say sorry
To have you with me again
Cuz I know I won’t stand this
Zach, will you still be my boyfriend?

Cuz I’d run heaven for you
Dear I’d rum hell if I had to
Cuz I feel so strongly about you
It’s hard for words to tell
Cuz I already miss your presence
And you’ve just been gone a while

Cuz I’ve been crying ever since
You told me you didn’t loved me
Cuz I’ve been dieing ever since
Little by little without thee

Cuz I’d catch a plain if I could
Directly to where you are
Cuz I can only bare to be away from you
When I’m sure you’re near by
Cuz I need you now , I mean it
And I want you to help me out

Cuz you healed my broken heart
Please don’t let it crack again
Cuz you fixed what was apart
And made it hold again

Cuz no one ever made me whole
Like you did me Zachary
Cuz no one ever had my soul
And my mind entirely
Cuz no one ever owned my all
And my heart’s only key

Cuz I realized I want you
I’m begging you to come back
Cuz it’s so hard to come home
And not have you waiting there

Cuz I got so attached to you
And you became a dearest friend
Cuz I can truly open up to you
You care for me and understand
Cuz I still want to protect you
Take care of my little man

Cuz I got addicted to holding you
And I miss your every kiss and fondle
Cuz I realized I loved you
Having you it’s all I wanted

Cuz you’re what I asked for Christmas
In my letter to Santa Claus
Cuz I said: “Please let us stay together,
Forever and after all”
Cuz you’re my fairy tail come true
Everything I needed now

Cuz I trusted you to take good care
Of what no one else could
Cuz I believed you to protect
And to guard me in your soul

Cuz I just don’t believe
That this is how it will end
Cuz you made me believe in love
And ever after happy days
Cuz you’re my little prince
That will make me a princess

Cuz I believe you still love me
And I’ll fight to get you back
Cuz I just miss hugging you
And cuddling in your chest...

by: nesS

(i do not care for what anyone may think, i did this poem so i'm not taking it back!
shame on me? no...shame on love)

...a pRinCesS...

a pRinCesS

She was a princess
a queen between the others
She was perfection
the rule among the goddess

Her divine spirit
shined purity and love
Her divine features
made gods stare above

One day she came
down to the world of mortals
One day her heart
by a mere mortal was stolen

Somehow she looked
and saw what was an equal
Somehow she weak
by staring face to evil

A fallen angel from the sky
a simple creature of purity
A fallen angel by her side
ignoring her lightning beauty

The world woke up
at the first sign of passion
The world stopped and stared
so to see his next reaction

The boy approached
step by step, with no fear
The boy looked and faced
her eyes as they cleared

He whispered in her ear
words never before spoken
He whispered a tear
that would leave the girl broken

Now she knew
how hard it was to fear
Now she understood
that angels have to leave

He felt from above
and her fault it was
He felt all alone
because she loved him too much

She told him how she felt
her darkest fears inside
She told also herself
that she would never stop to try

He walked away
leaving her in grief
He walked alone
taking her heart as a thief

Then the princess cried
her angel was gone
Then the world died
their princess broke down

The chaos was everywhere
saddening every being alive
The chaos took her fear
and brought along the dark side…

by: nesS

...dOn’t GiVe Up On it aLL...

dOn’t GiVe Up On it aLL


Sweeten angel
I can't bear to watch you fall
I'll give away my wings
If it someday could save your soul

I would cry for you
If you turned your back and went away
I couldn't bare to lose
So please don't turn your back and stay

Cuz I still want you
To be just here with me
Cuz I still need you
To take away my fears

Cuz I still feel you
When I need to be strong
Cuz I won’t forgive you
When you give up on it all

Dearest friend
Do you ever mind watching me fall
Don't be afraid of me
I will wipe out every tear you drop

I won’t take on much long
Destroying all my wants and dreams
Despite of what's to come
Dare the one that takes you away from me

Cuz I still want you
To be just here with me
Cuz i still need you
To take away my fears

Cuz I still feel you
When I need to be strong
Cuz I won’t forgive you
When you give up on it all

And I'll be here now
Don't give up on it all
And I'll be somehow
Don't give up on it all

The friend you'll need
Don't give up on it all
To keep you holding on
So Don't you give up on it all…

21H30
26/10/2006

...fOR mY anGeL...

by: nesS

...baLanCe...

baLanCe

All over the world
There’s a balance between life
It’s love versus hate
It’s wrong against right

Wherever you go
Or whatever you see
You’ll always find humanity’s seek
The need for stability

Cuz the whole planet is black and white
There’s no grey
There’s no harmony
It’s just day or night

And we attempt to create balance
By putting opposites side by side

We either have pure people
Or rude people
There’s no perfection
No complete being or right direction

Ones rather give everything
While others would take it all

This is our reality
A world full of flaws
And imperfect piece of architecture
Of an unorganized law

This is our only known way of balance
When one undoes
What another one
Desperately tries to do

But if we all see it right
Why even bother
If everyone thinks this is how it should be like
Why not ignore it?

by: nesS

…dOOmeD wOrLD…

…dOOmeD wOrLD…


why do we keep on fighting?
trying to make this life mean something
why do we keep on struggling?
finding reasons for useless purposes
aren't we all going to die anyway?
deeply there's no meaning for all this
just dreams of imaginary fantasies
and tears from when we feel betrayed
think hard and you'll find a hole
filled with trash that makes believe
lies that make us smile
faked smiles that make us cry
so why do we keep on fighting?
trying to make this world be something
why do we keep on struggling?
finding meanings for hopeless purposes

by:nesS

...fRee...(1)

...fRee...
(1)


This is not a love song; neither a cruel poem of horror; is just something about someone who came finally free from thoughts and, it may seem strange, odd or even stupid, but the story I'm gonna tell, it's about me people...
About a little angel that came cross the line, felt for the dark side, and got afraid to go back... About a little girl that was scared by the light, by reality's burning eyes, and never truly knew why...
I've learned many things during the journey, and one of them: you do never fall for someone who does not or will not care!
Trust only yourself with your emotions; love only the ones who deserve it; believe a smile is worth it; believe happiness is not impossible...

by: nesS

...tHanK yOu...

…tHanK yOu…


What in the world
Have I fucking done to you?
Did I let you down?
Did I let you drown?
Did I shoot you?
Please tell me
Cuz I’m confused
My head is fucking messed up
And it is all because of you
It seems you’re fucked up also
At least that’s what you said
I just seem to have some trouble
Figuring why is that?
Did you not get some help?
Or someone did not hold you?
Or maybe, I’d guess
You did not hear “I love you”?
Whatever the reason
It’s not my fault
Cuz no matter how I care
Or how I don’t
You push me down
Don’t hate me but
Rather if you did
At least don’t despise me
Have some respect!
For God’s sake
Act like a man!
You don’t have the guts to face me?
Is that it?
Or maybe
You’re just playing
Having fun
Talking some shit
Is that why?
Tell me
Cuz I don’t get it
You do not give a shit about me
But you were actually affected!
Are you tired of me?
Do you want me to unglue?
Cuz I really do not want you
And deep inside I knew
You were just fucking joking
Playing I must say
But you won’t ever play with me!
Did you hear what I said?

You will not mess me up
It’s not my fault dam it!
I’m not the one who ignores
Neither the one who fakes!
Some people
Say sometimes
“Your problem
Is not to go further”
“Your thing is
You stay behind”
“You never go for it”
And to them I answer:
Are you people sober?
I cannot step ahead
He’ll push me down to bottom!
So you do
And I can’t stand
That once they really get it
I hear: “Let it go”
“Forget him”
But they don’t understand
That I’d be glad if I could
But I can’!
Anyway just tell me
What is your fucking plan?
Make me hate you?
As I would
To make me suffer
And break me down
So that I’ll never
Be around?
Let me tell you
You’re not succeeding
You’re just losing something
Someone, a friend
Cuz I actually do
I care for you!
But do as you wish
Crush me if you must
One day
You’ll be all alone
Thinking back
And wondering why
Why did you throw me off?
And maybe you’ll realise
That I’m not actually alive!
So thank you darling
You made me die…

By: nesS

"...adORut..."

“…adORut…”


“adorut!” perfeito, conciso; como da primeira vez que mo disseste. “adorut”, completo; repleto de momentos, palavras e pensamentos; “adorut”, oh palavra desperdiçada, sentida mas ignorada; “adorut” tal qual como o escreveste, “adorut”, não esqueci nem vou esquecer-te.
Porque é que parece tão complicado e obtuso, gritá-lo ao mundo?
É simplesmente profundo, e vasto, perdido em ventos que com o tempo o dissiparam; gasto, de tão pensado não foi dito. Porquê?
Pois se não o disse, digo agora. “adorut”!
“adorut, adorut, adorut, adorut!”, tanto que me canso.
Cansaço, é isso, isso e saudade, muita, imensa.
Porque palavras como esta não devem ser escondidas; porque é crime que fiquem desditas, omitidas; porque se nunca to disse realmente digo agora, “adorut!”, por tudo e por nada; “adorut!”, mais do que a tua mente encara, finge e renega; “adorut!”, mesmo que o tenhas esquecido, apodrecido e poeirento, sei que conheces o sentimento; sei que mesmo que não o saibas, não caiu no esquecimento.
E por tudo o que não foi; e pelo que não devia ter sido; porque para mim “adorut” é a palavra que faz sentido; eu digo, “adorut!”; sem medo nem receio; “adorut” e tu sabes disso! Então porque é que não o dizes?
Uma vez, e mais nenhuma, ouvi dos teus lábios esta palavra; uma única vez a tua voz entoou as sílabas; “adorut”, tímido e discreto; escondido e secreto; abafado e traiçoeiro, um “adorut” verdadeiro.

By: nesS

...fOR aLL i neeD...

…fOR aLL i neeD…


For all I fear is just this
A silent moment in time
A screaming action of mine
A drowning sea of bloody tears

For all I know is just lost
Secluded from life as it is known
Secretly hidden in flux
Somewhere in someplace quite far

For all I see is just dust
Burning thoughts ripping trough
Broken memories and shattered trust
Blanked hurting flashbacks of you

By: nesS

...taLk abOUt OppOSiteS...

…taLk abOUt OppOSiteS…


-------------------- }{ --------------------

…mY peRfeCt dReaM…

Just seeing you
Leaves me breathless
Just hearing you
Leaves me restless
Just smelling you
Leaves me winding
Just loving you
Leaves me smiling
You’re my sin
My most and everything
You’re him
My perfect dream


-------------------- }{ --------------------


…Ok tHen…

ok then...leave!
don't excuse, don't betray
don't waste yourself
just go away
don't complain, don't annoy
don't make suffer
just turn and run
don't speak, don't bother
don't try too hard
just ignore it
don't feel, don't share
don't live then!
see if I care...

-------------------- }{ --------------------

by: nesS

...dOn't gO...

…dOn’t gO…


See you there
And I can’t bare
Trying to
Touch your hand
When I know I can’t
Make you smile
But can’t make you mine
Thought I wanna hug you
Feel you close
And hold you tight
I can’t have you
You won’t be mine

I look at you
And dream awake
Close my eyes
I see your face
I need you
For all my life
I want you here
Right by my side
I try to breath
I try to sleep
But I can’t
You’re on my head

I want you here
Don’t leave me
Please
Don’t make me die
Stay with
I can’t see you go
Can’t stand the pain
I wanna go with you
Along to nowhere
Somewhere
As long as you're there
I’ll hold myself

You smile to me
You speak to me
Touch my hand
But yours I cant
Someone pick me
I’m crying
I see you go
What if you don’t
Come back to me
What if you go
Far somewhere
And disappear?

by: nesS

...yOu...

...yOu...

You’re the wood that crisps,
in the flames of my heart
You’re the one I miss,
when I’m alone in the night
You’re the sun in the garden,
where I live and make part
You’re the missing piece of the puzzle,
that reconstructs my heart
You’re part of our world,
you’re the other half…
I have my own world,
and a world for me and you
And now you became a part,
of my own world too
Our world is just perfect,
mine is just crashing
It’s a world where you and I are just one,
and there is no everyone
Our world is you and me,
no one else exists
I fell in love with our world,
not with you I think…
I was amazed by the fusion,
of me and my illusion,
I wanted it to last for ever,
‘cause I’d never felt better
So there I was happier as could be,
while in my world I was burning within
It’s like when you’re here,
everyone else disappears
When you’re there,
I just feel so sad again
When you return,
my wounds heal and I feel happy as never
I wish that I could stay that way forever,
but you prefer yourself
Or maybe someone else,
to share your world with
I’m just not a part of your life,
and you’ve became mine
I have nowhere else to turn,
I’m falling apart
I’m writing a book,
the book of my life
And it’s just the saddest story,
everybody dies
Everyone is myself,
and all the selves I am
And all of them are going the same way,
they’re darkening inside
They are living in shadow land,
where to everyone we’re ghosts
No one notices our suffering,
we’re just muttering something
About how life has betrayed us,
and how flowers have parched
‘Cause without sun in the garden,
without wood in the fire
Everything finishes,
there’s nothing left
And you just move on,
like nothing’s going on
While I die at your feet,
crawling for your need
Begging to be wanted,
dieing to be something
And you just ignore me…

by: nesS

...a wOrLD fOR yOuRSeLf...

...a wOrLD fOR yOuRSeLf...

People betray you
and people lie to you...
And then,
When everything is wrong,
And your world is falling apart,
You can always count…
On yourself

Cause when no one cares,
When nobody listens,
And everyone seems,
To be too busy,
You just need to be there…
For yourself

When you just don’t belong,
And nobody wants you,
When you’re just too hurt,
To deal with the world
Make your own world…
Make your own rules…
And be yourself…

This world is cold…
This world is cruel…
This world…
Is a fucked place…
But the worst in it
It’s us…

If you don’t like it,
Change it…
If you want it,
Keep it…
You can do whatever you want…
You can make it your world...
You…and yourself…

So
If somehow,
Everybody turn their back on you…
Remember…
It’s your world…
And only you can rule it…

by: nesS

..vOLta pRa MiM...

...vOLta pRa MiM...

Como é possível
Depois de tanto tempo
O que eu ainda recordo
no fundo do pensamento
A tua presença
Junto à minha
És tu a luz
Que me guia noite e dia
És a verdade
Que eu quero alcançar
És a saudade
Que eu quero matar
És e serás
A chama que me consome
És a vida que há em mim
És a minha fome
És todo o poder
Toda a força que possuo
És a meu ver
Aquele que eu procuro
Quero alcançar a tua mão
Quero poder um dia
Entrar no teu coração
Quero quebrar todo esse gelo
Quero-te mostrar
Que o mundo pode ser belo
Peço-te que vejas
Que só te quero a ti
Declaro que te adoro e peço
Volta pra mim

Tu és o sol
Que ilumina a minha vida
És quem me abre a porta
num beco sem saída
é por ti que eu luto
é por ti que tanto sofro
sei que o mereces
tu e não qualquer outro
por mais que não o queiras
eu não deixo de sentir
Todo este fogo
Que me está a consumir
Quem mais eu temo
E quem mais eu adoro
É pra ti que eu rio
É por ti que eu choro
É culpa tua o que sofro
E só contigo sou feliz
Quero que entendas
Foi só a ti quem sempre quis
Para mim tu és o mundo
Para mim tu és o tudo
Por isso compreende o que escrevo
Pensa no que digo
Sei que não te entendo
Mas contigo eu consigo
Vejo um mundo que só te tem a ti
Declaro que te adoro e peço
Volta pra mim...

by: nesS

...tHEm...

...tHEm...

they whisper, keep on saying the same thing
they hear me, keep on scaring them and me
they want me, keep on haunting all my dreams
they kill me, keep on bleeding from within

I just wanna run right now
I don’t know how to escape
But I still wanna go somehow
I don’t wanna be afraid

I gotta keep out from your space
you just want my soul
I gotta keep away your face
you just want my all

never ever sending me
to the hole that you carry
never ever using me
to fill it up forever

they whisper, keep on saying the same thing
they hear me, keep on scaring them and me
they want me, keep on haunting all my dreams
they kill me, keep on bleeding from within

they pick me up again
just to stay watching me fall
they kick me of again
just to laugh as I crawl

wanna hate them, I can’t
wanna fear them, I don’t
wanna feel them, I can’t
wanna leave them, I wont

I gotta get away for good
disappear in the shadow
I wanna go as you would
like I never even bother

by: nesS

...ReCaLLinG...

...ReCaLLinG...

It feels like for ever
the last time you hold me in your arms
and said you loved me
But still a fresh memory
the last time you hold me tight
like you were afraid that I'd go away

The joy in your eyes
Every time you hugged me
The fear in you soul
Every time you had to let go

You looked deep into my eyes
and protected me
like I was the most precious thing in the world
Like a fragile flower
a beautiful flower
that you wanted to see glow

So you’d just seat there, looking
and then you’d approach, smiling
and hold my hands between yours
And put your arms around me
And hold me tight so I could see
that you cared about me

That your eyes weren’t lying
You had a joyful glow around you
that would only come with my presence
An aura that protected me
and made me the most precious

by: nesS

...sOme feeLinG...

É não ter nada que fazer e não querer fazer nada…
É o grito frustrado que soltamos no desespero…
Uma confusão constante…
Uma solidão imensa…
É quando damos conta de que nada faz sentido…
Que tudo está perdido…
Quando nosso mundo gira mais rápido do que o vemos…
Quando a nossa cabeça explode…
Quando nos perdemos dentro de nos próprios e não nos conseguimos encontrar…
É precisar de companhia e querer estar só…
É estar no fundo do poço sem forças para nos voltarmos a levantar…
É perder a esperança…
É desistir da luta…
Quando tudo parece ser inútil…
Quando nada resulta…
Um vazio inexplicável…
Uma ferida profunda e indolor…
É chorar sem motivo aparente…
Quando a acumulação de dor nos faz parar de a sentir…
É querer sair do buraco sem procurar a solução…
Quando desistimos de procurar a saída e nos viciamos na escuridão…
Quando a felicidade é inalcançável…
É não saber mais como expressar vida…
Quando emanamos constantemente uma expressão vazia…
Quando nos sentimos distantes…
É estar á parte de tudo e não saber o caminho de volta…
É saber que já nada se sente…
É como passear um corpo sem vida…
Quando a nossa alma divaga sem rumo…

by nesS

...frUstRatiOn...

frUstRatiOn

We’re living in a world
Where no one understands you
No one cares
They don’t give a shit for what you do
Or who you are
What you’re standing for
Everybody just cares about themselves
We should do the same
Cause it’s just one fucking world
Where the war is straight
The battle is tuff
And in the end
You’re fighting yourself
And everything you stand for
Went down
You’re all alone with your thoughts
And the only thing you think about
Is how to repair this mess
This shit you put yourself into
But what do you come up with?
Nothing
Cause you destroyed your own trust
Your own power
You destroyed what was left of the war
You destroyed your soul in the battle
And now
You don’t have a thing to fight for
It’s over
.......

by nesS